The White Cap or the Purple Cap

"So. Walk me through your drops."

I asked him how the drops were going, he smiled and said, "Just great"
Pulled a sandwich bag from his jacket like a rattling paperweight
"It's the white cap in the morning, or the purple, I'm not sure"
"The teal one's for the nighttime, or was that the one before?"

I said, "Show me how you put them in," he tilted back his head
He aimed it like a crop duster and hit his brow instead
Three drops on the cheekbone, one rolling off his chin
He blinked and said, "There. See? I think a little got in."

White cap or the purple cap
Teal one when you take your nap
Just one drop, that's all it takes
But he's squeezing like he's frosting cakes
White cap or the purple cap
Easy, easy now

I asked him when he opened this one, he scratched his head and thought
"My granddaughter's graduation, or that Christmas, I forgot"
The label's worn clear off it, and the tip's a little gray
That bottle's seen two summers, sir, it's meant for thirty days

Then his wife leaned in politely, said, "Well, tell her what you did"
He looked down at his loafers like a guilty little kid
"One night I got confused at bedtime, didn't have my glasses near"
"So the drops for my glaucoma... I put 'em in my ear."

White cap or the purple cap
Teal one when you take your nap
Just one drop, that's all it takes
But he's squeezing like he's frosting cakes
White cap or the purple cap
Easy, easy now

Pressure's twenty-eight today, the doctor sighs
"Let's try a little laser, let's simplify"
One bottle, one drop, one time before bed
"In the eye. Not the ear," the doctor said

White cap or the purple cap
Teal one when you take your nap
Just one drop, that's all it takes
White cap or the purple cap
Easy, easy now

Written on his sandwich bag in Sharpie, big and clear:
"EYE. Not ear."