Which Eye Again

Hi, I'm your surgical counselor. The doctor said he explained everything?
He did. I have no idea what he said.

He said "cataract," he said "lens"
He said "toric" and "astigmatism," and then
He drew a little picture and he shook my hand
And the door closed, and here I am

Okay, let's start at the very top
Do you want glasses? Do I want to stop?
A standard lens, you'll still need readers, dear
He said "premium." Does that mean it's free? No, it's not free here.

Which eye again? Which eye again?
The right one first, the left one in two weeks, my friend
Is it lasers? Kind of. Is it sharp? A little bit
Which eye again? I'm gonna write it on my hand

I'm calling the surgery center now
Faxing the H and P somehow
Checking the lens is the model and the power, the eye
Twice, three times, the fourth time I'll cry

Can I take my blood thinner? Ask your PCP
Can I eat before? Nothing after midnight, see?
Can I drive myself? No, honey, you can't
Will I see like an eagle? Let's just say an improved plant

Which eye again? Which eye again?
The right one first, the left one in two weeks, my friend
Is it lasers? Kind of. Is it sharp? A little bit
Which eye again? I'm gonna write it on my hand

Here's your drop schedule, it's color-coded
That's a lot of colors. It's four. I'm overloaded
Here's my number, call me any day
I'll call you tonight. I know. That's okay.

So it's the left eye?
Right eye.
Right. The left eye.
I'm putting a sticker on your forehead.