The Glasses on My Head (A Sea Shanty)

Oh, she came to the front desk in a terrible state
(Heave away, where'd they go?)
"I've lost my good glasses, and I'm running late!"
(Heave away, where'd they go?)
She searched in her purse and she searched in her car
She searched every pocket from here to afar

Oh, they're up on her head, me boys, up on her head
She's looking for glasses that sit on her head
We'll point and we'll smile and we'll gently suggest
Ma'am, they're up on your head, now give it a rest

She called up her husband, he drove back from town
(Heave away, where'd they go?)
He tore up the sofa and turned it upside down
(Heave away, where'd they go?)
He checked in the fridge and he checked in the shed
And all the while, they were up on her head

Oh, they're up on her head, me boys, up on her head
She's looking for glasses that sit on her head
We'll point and we'll smile and we'll gently suggest
Ma'am, they're up on your head, now give it a rest

Then she sat for her exam and the tech asked her nice
(Heave away, where'd they go?)
"Did you bring your old glasses?" She said, "Not twice!"
(Heave away, where'd they go?)
"I've lost three pair this year, I've lost them for good"
The tech just looked up, like any tech would

There's a pair on her head and a pair on her nose
And a pair on a chain hanging down to her toes
And a pair in her hand that she's waving about
Saying, "Has anybody seen them? I'm all sold out!"

Oh, they're up on her head, me boys, up on her head
She's looking for glasses that sit on her head
We'll point and we'll smile and we'll gently suggest
Ma'am, they're up on your head, now give it a rest

...Ma'am.
Your keys are up there too.
(Heave away!)