La Scribe (Two Doctors, One Me)

Bonjour. The other scribe called off.
So. Two doctors... and me.

Doctor number one mumbles into his sleeve
"R-T-C, D-F-E," then he turns to leave
"Two-plus N-S, O-U," I catch it in flight
Doctor number two can't turn his computer on right
"What's my password?" Your dog's name and a two
I log him in, I log the first one too

Jeweler's forceps, oui, oui
An OCT, and orange juice, s'il vous plait
She's diabetic, I knew before you did
I'm three steps ahead, but I'm smiling, doctor, don't you worry
Two doctors, one me
And the clinic flows like the Seine, you see

"Which room do I go in next?"
The one with the blinking light, like always
"How do these lights work?" The switch by your hand
"Where's the Pentacam?" It's already on your screen
"Find me a topography?" It's right there, between
Then poof, he's in his office, and nobody knows where
And the waiting room is sighing in every single chair

Jeweler's forceps, oui, oui
An OCT, and orange juice, s'il vous plait
She's diabetic, I knew before you did
I'm three steps ahead, but I'm smiling, doctor, don't you worry
Two doctors, one me
And the clinic flows like the Seine, you see

The administrator, sweet as creme brulee
"Someone tracked in mud, could you clean it today?"
Of course I'll clean it, between each exam
While the doctors keep forging ahead of me again

"Take her to the laser," so I take her arm
She's eighty-two, one mile an hour, all elegance and charm
Ten minutes later he's tapping his shoe
"Why isn't she in the laser room?"
Doctor... you passed us in the hall. We waved at you.

Sign your notes, mon cher, your keys are in your coat
Your lunch is in the fridge, I left you a little note
You don't know how good you've got it, and c'est la vie
Two doctors, one me
And the clinic flows like the Seine, you see

Room six. Left eye.
De rien, Doctor.