Refraction Ain't Covered

It's 2026. We've got robot vacuums. We've got self-driving cars.
And I am sending a fax.

She's standing at the window with her card held up like a badge
"My insurance covers everything," she says, a little mad
Ma'am, that's your vision plan, but you told the doc your eye was red
So today it's billed as medical, with a deductible ahead

And the refraction, that's the "one or two," that's a separate little fee
Medicare won't cover it, and it ain't up to me
She says, "I didn't ask for that." I say, "You asked for glasses, hon"
"How else did you think we'd figure out if it was two or one?"

Refraction ain't covered (no, no!)
Prior auth's on hold (whoa!)
I got a fax machine from 1993
And a hold song living inside of me
Refraction ain't covered (no, no!)
Deductible's not met
I'm the billing desk, baby, and I ain't broken yet

Doctor wants an injection, so I call to get it cleared
Forty minutes on a flute loop, I'm growing out a beard
"Fax us all the clinicals." I fax 'em, then they say
"We never got the fax." So I fax it twice today

Then a denial comes back, says, "Please see attached for why"
But there's nothing there attached, just a gray page, I could cry
I'm fluent in modifiers, twenty-five and fifty-nine
I'm on hold with three insurers, all at the same time

Refraction ain't covered (no, no!)
Prior auth's on hold (whoa!)
I got a fax machine from 1993
And a hold song living inside of me
Refraction ain't covered (no, no!)
Deductible's not met
I'm the billing desk, baby, and I ain't broken yet

They say there's a cloud where the data flows like wine
But my fax is a dinosaur, and it's still on the line
Beep! Screech! Paper jam!
I'm the last one standing who knows what a cover sheet is, man

"Your call is important to us."
Is it, though?