Lidocaine Lounge

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
Well, it's Tuesday morning. But it feels like evening.
Welcome to injection day.

Room one, a little numbing gel, a dollop and a smile
Room two, the gel is settling in, she'll sit back for a while
Room three, the iodine goes on, it's cold, it's brown, it stings
Room four, the doctor glides on in and does his gentle thing

The lady in room five is telling me about her yard
Her tomatoes and her neighbor and her nephew's birthday card
"Look up and to the left, dear." "Oh, that's where my garden's at!"
"And speaking of the left side, did I tell you 'bout my cat?"

It's cold, not sharp, just cold, my dear
A little pressure, then we're clear
Look up, look left, and hold real still
One, two, three, and that's the thrill
Come on down to the lidocaine lounge
Where the eyes are numb and the jazz goes round

"Is that a little bubble?" Yes, a little floating friend
Like a tadpole doing laps, it'll fade out in the end
"Will the white part turn red?" Maybe just a spot, no fear
Looks dramatic, but it's harmless, like an uncle once a year

Room six grips both the armrests, says, "Okay, I'm ready, go"
"Ma'am, we finished a minute ago." She says, "Well, how was I to know?"
"I didn't even feel it!" Darling, that's the plan, my friend
Same time next month, sweetheart, we'll dance it all again

It's cold, not sharp, just cold, my dear
A little pressure, then we're clear
Look up, look left, and hold real still
One, two, three, and that's the thrill
Come on down to the lidocaine lounge
Where the eyes are numb and the jazz goes round

They come in nervous, they leave with jokes
Some of the bravest, sweetest folks
Every four weeks, like a standing date
Keeping the vision, keeping it great

Room one is empty.
Room one is full again.
More gel, please.