Better, Worse, or the Same

Hi, Gerald. Forehead forward. Look through the holes.
This'll take two minutes. (It will not take two minutes.)

Gerald sits down with a confident smile
"I've done this before, I've been studying a while"
"One or two?" He squints real slow
"D... E... F..." Gerald. No.

"Better, or worse?" "H... N... R..."
Gerald, I didn't ask how many letters there are
"Two... no, one... wait, what was three?"
There's no three, Gerald. Just you and me.

Better, worse, or the same?
Gerald, it's a very simple game
Not the letters, just tell me true
Better, worse, or the same? Gerald, one or two?

"Can I see one again?" Sure.
"And two?" Sure. "And one?" ...Sure.
Eleven times, I flip it slow
He reads the whole line out. "...Z. I don't know."

"One or two?" "Well... it went dark. I can't see a thing."
Gerald's leaning back like a lawn recliner
Gerald, try putting your head back up to the hole
"...Oh. There it is. It's a miracle." It's a phoropter, Gerald.

Better, worse, or the same?
Gerald, it's a very simple game
Not the letters, just tell me true
Better, worse, or the same? Gerald, one or two?

"It's blurry. It's blurry. Both are blurry."
Gerald, try blinking.
"Whoa. Who turned the lights on?"
You did, Gerald. With your eyelids.

"Which one's the right answer?" There's no right answer.
"So it's a trick." It's not a trick.
"The E in one looks anxious. The E in two's relaxed."
"Yes." Not a number. "Both." Not a number.
"O... Z..." Gerald. Gerald. Gerald.
He asks to take the phoropter home to practice
His wife smiles from the corner: "He reads the menu out loud too."

Thirty minutes later, he leans in close
Whispers like a secret, like it matters most

Better, worse, or the same?
Gerald, it's a very simple game
Not the letters, just tell me true
Better, worse, or the same? Gerald, one or two?

"Honestly? They're the same."
Same. Perfect. That's your old prescription, Gerald.
"Great! So I passed? ...E. F. P."
You passed, Gerald.