Bring 'Em Back (Doo-Wop Returns)

(Ooh-wah, ooh-wah) Bring 'em back
(Bom, bom, bom) Bring 'em back to me
(Sha-la-la) Every pair comes home to the optician

I saw her at the counter, with her glasses in her hand
She said "They just don't feel right," and I tried to understand
I asked her what was wrong, dear, she looked me in the eye
And said "I really couldn't tell you"... and she started to cry (boo-hoo)

Bring 'em back (bring 'em back)
Bring 'em back to me (ooh-wah)
I'll adjust 'em once again, baby, it's no charge, you see
The doctor checked the numbers (shoo-bop)
They're the same as yesterday
But bring 'em back (bring 'em back)
'Cause you'll bring 'em back anyway

He said they're loose behind the ears, I tightened them right up
He came back after lunchtime holding his head like a cup
"Now they're too tight," he told me, "I've got a headache in my brain"
I loosened them a little, and he's coming back again (ooh)

Bring 'em back (bring 'em back)
Bring 'em back to me (ooh-wah)
I'll adjust 'em once again, baby, it's no charge, you see
The doctor checked the numbers (shoo-bop)
They're the same as yesterday
But bring 'em back (bring 'em back)
'Cause you'll bring 'em back anyway

Ma'am... you sat on them.
She said she didn't
There's a butt print... on the lens.
She said they came that way
Ooh-wah... ooh-wah...

"I can see better without 'em," that's what the old man said
While reading the tiny letters with his glasses on his head
"They're blurry when I wear 'em," well, darling, I believe
You've got your reading glasses on to watch the TV, please (oh, please)

Bring 'em back (bring 'em back)
Bring 'em back to me (ooh-wah)
I'll be standing at the counter with my little screwdriver key
They're crooked, they're too heavy (shoo-bop)
Not the color of the sea
But bring 'em back (bring 'em back)
You'll always bring 'em back to me

(Ooh-wah) Day eighty-nine...
(Bom, bom) She wants a refund...
(Sha-la-la) Bring 'em back...