Tango de las Gotas (The Eye Drop Tango)

One drop. Four times a day. In the eye.
How hard can it be?

I hold the little bottle like a rose between my teeth
I tilt my head back slowly, like a dancer, underneath
I aim for the eye, I squeeze with all my soul
The drop lands on my eyebrow, it is rolling down my nose

Tango de las gotas, the dance of the drops
I blink at the moment, every single time it drops
On my cheek, on my chin, on my shirt, on the floor
One tiny bottle, and I need a dozen more

My wife says "Hold still, mi amor, let me try"
She comes at me with passion, I flinch and close my eye
We spin across the kitchen, she pins me to the chair
Now the dog has glaucoma drops all in his hair

Tango de las gotas, the dance of the drops
I blink at the moment, every single time it drops
On my cheek, on my chin, on my shirt, on the floor
One tiny bottle, and I need a dozen more

The pharmacy says, "You are early for refill"
"Insurance says one bottle lasts a month" — what a thrill
A month for a bottle? Señor, it lasts a day
When half of every drop goes dancing away

The doctor says, "Pull down your lid and make a little cup"
"Look up at the ceiling, and don't squeeze it shut"
I look up to heaven, I pull down my lid
And for the first time ever... I did it. I did.

Tango de las gotas, the dance of the drops
One beautiful drop, right in the eye, it stops
Then I sneeze... and it is gone
Ay... one more, mi amor

Same time tomorrow.
Ole.