Dilated and Dangerous

"This might sting a little."
It stung a lot.

Yo, I walked in sharp, I walked in clean
Tech dropped my eyes, now I'm a vampire machine
She said, "Twenty minutes and they'll open up wide"
I said, "Can I drive?" She said, "Is somebody outside?"

I'm in the waiting room, rubbing my face
Trying to read my phone, it's a blurry disgrace
Every text is a smudge, every email's a ghost
I just liked my boss's post with a thumbs-down, oh no, the most

Dilated! (Dilated!)
Pupils big as dinner plates!
Can I drive after? (No!)
Can I drive after? (No!)
Give me those roll-up shades, I'm a movie star
Somebody else is driving my car!

Doc shines a light like the sun on a spoon
I see purple for an hour, I see blue till noon
"Look up, look down, look at my ear"
I'm looking at your ear, man, I can't see your ear

Now I'm at the grocery store, lights are like a laser show
Squinting at the cereal like it owes me dough
Lady says, "You okay?" I say, "I'm dilated, ma'am"
She backs away slowly from the guy in the paper shades by the ham

Dilated! (Dilated!)
Pupils big as dinner plates!
Can I drive after? (No!)
Can I drive after? (No!)
Give me those roll-up shades, I'm a movie star
Somebody else is driving my car!

Four to six hours, that's what they said
Seven hours later, still a moon in my head
I'm gonna nap in the dark like a bat in a cave
Wake up tomorrow normal, and that's how I'll behave

Dilated! (Dilated!)
Can I drive after? (No!)
Somebody else is driving my car!

See you next year.
Same drops?
Same drops.